Burned Out, wounded, yet Irreplaceable!!!

So,

Since I've been back to HU, (less than 3 months) I've talked to like 6 guys. It's like;

•  I came here talking to one from over the summer, and he was in a fraternity. Things were great over the summer, but as soon as we got to campus, the frat life took over. 
• The next guy I met while things were dwindling down with the first guy. He was Mexican mixed with Filipino and we had an amazing chemistry, emotionally, physically, everything.sniff sniff... I'll miss him! He would take me to Coldstone and the movies on a whim even tho he was low on funds. Unfortunately he was uneducated and I had suspicions that he was selling drugs... One day he was late coming to pick me up for a date, and was speeding. He got pulled over by the police in his cousins car, apparently with no license, and the car was consfiscated. He moved all the way across the country the next day, to SEATTLE! I think he  had warrants, we kept in touch, sent letters, but ended up losing his number...
• #3 was a White guy, because after the mexican guy captivating me, I figured I should be open to new things. He was in the Navy and a real cool person. I went on a few dates with him and met all his friends and they all loved me. I thought they were hilarious. He was a sweet guy and very affectionate, he liked holding hands and little stuff like that. BUT he emailed me one day and told me he had an incurable STD. Since our relationship wasn't sexual, I told him we could still be friends cuz i would have felt bad to just cut him off like that, but he was a typical male and decided that since I told him I couldn't see myself letting our relationship turn sexual in the future, that he didn't wanna date me anymore!!! He had his nerve!!! Thank God I locked my goodies up!! LOL
• The fourth guy was a nice guy from the West coast who was a good companion. I kind of started talkin to him while I was talkin to the white guy. We would chill alot and go to the library together and go to dinner together, he was great to talk to, he was a really good dresser, looked really good, and had a great body!!but I felt nothing between us, but friendly emotions (I dont think that this was because he was a virgin). We spent all of our time togther, but decided that we were losing interest because I felt no sexual connection. 
• One guy, I just had a crush on. He was a laid back really smooth guy. I guess there's nothing to say but that we had been friends for a while, took a class together last year and studied together, talked alot evenings being bored on AIM, and then he invited me over his house. We chilled and watched a movie, and laughed alot. I didnt get a second invitation and I still dont know why he invited me over there, but I really liked him, but I got over it when the next guy stepped up.
• The most recent guy was in my class and went to my school. I don't even wanna talk about it. But needless to say, I'm burned out.

recently I heard a rumor that the first guy i mentioned has an STD. WTF!!?? Dont guys wrap it up anymore??? I mean thank God that I had enough sense not to get close in that way with these guys! Makes you think alot doesn't it?

I think I am becoming a serial dater, and I don't know if I feel bad about it. The only problem is I'm tired of dating all these different people. I just want someone who loves me for me and who I feel the same way about. I am a little spoiled from being able to talk 2 whoever I want and going on dates every weekend, so in a way, I don't think I want to get into a relationship, and thats not what I'm looking for. But at the same time, I want something regular and it hurts that it couldnt work out with any of these men, now that I look back. It almost makes me feel like there's something wrong with me, making me feel insecure for like 5 minutes until I realize that the reason is doesn't work out with the majority of the men I meet is that I won't let myself become their sex object. There's nothing wrong with holding back on my goodies until I feel that I'm in a secure relationship. I havent had a relationship with any of these men so how can they expect me to give them my body?

O well, I guess I am done venting...ladies, if you read this let me know what you think...

It's been a long time!!!

But I'm back!

Actually I'm just bored, I'm in my  economics class and my teacher is good, but I just got wireless internet and its impossible to pay attention when facebook and myspace are at your fingertips.

I've been up to a lot lately and I am pondering the possibilities of my life and where it may lead me. I mean men, my education, and everything.

I broke down yesterday and told my friend that I've been spending a lot of time with lately about my piercings. He cracked up...hmmmm

I promised myself that I would keep that shit to myself. but I had a weak moment LOL...

I am soooo bored! I am on Holiday break and I feel like I am lacking something...

A life.

I am used to always being around my friends and something going on. If I was at school I could just walk down to Keisha's room, or basically find something entertaining. I don't know what's wrong with me...I have been looking forward to coming home basically since I got to school. Not because I don't like it there, but when I'm at home I can just chill with my family, and I can be alone when I want to, I have my own bathroom to do whatever I feel like in, and ofcourse free food and laundry...LOL oh well, Im just bored. I need to chill and be grateful.

wow...Why am I so hot, yet so single?

I have officially hit a drought in my love life But it's OK...even though I can feel panic almost settling in...LMAO Hey! I know for a fact that its worth waiting every moment it takes until you find someone that reaalllly is made for you. Someone that makes you happy every morning when u wake up and every night before u go to bed because u think of them...someone that treats u like a goddess...and someone that u can stay up ALLLL NIGHT and I literally mean all night!! to talk to and have those deep conversations that make u think. Anyway...I know that I deserve that and I know that simply having a boyfriend doesn't neccessarily mean being with someone who can treat u like that. So I can wait til I find that person because I will not settle for less. I'm too good for that

My philosophy of the day: Have fun, but keep ur distance

At the beginning of the semester, I met people and I may have told them things that now I wish I had kept to myself during the bonding process. Don't worry, it's nuthin major and nuthing has come of it, I just wish I would have concealed it a little better until I got to know them a little better, bcuz we're not always on the best of terms.

So if anybody is reading this, just think hard before you speak because things that u say have the potential to bite u hard in the a$$ one day. LOL!

My next  subject is my trip to and from home for Thanksgiving.

Wow! What an experience! The guy who drove me and his roommate succeeded in making me feel completely uncomfortable for basically a 24 hour period bcuz it's a 12 hour drive there, and 12 hours driving back. The way there they smoked weed the whole time and Im a strict non-smoker. and the way back, they drank beer and spoke about running trains on girls. They also made sure to speak about  every single girl at HU who is a "smut" who they did, what they did, and when. When they ran out of  girls, they brought it back to the girls in High School and even back in middle school!!! I wish u could have heard how dirty they spoke about these girls. After hearing that, I dont even wanna have sex until I leave this school! I would never want my name to come up in a conversation like that...

Ladies-your reputation is more important than fuckstration!!!